When A Loved One Is Dying

It happens. Death comes to everyone.

Except in the rarest of circumstances, the one near death does not need to be told.

Watching (or living with a person breathing their last does not need to be sad/ amd depressmg. We can make "the best" of what some might ordinarily consider to be "the worst" of situations. 

If the person nearing death has not desigmated a place for s memorial serviee, loved ones can (and should) find an acceptable place for the service. Funds for this purpose are usually available; search out those funds in advance.

Indeed, make the person as comfortable as possible; but above all, help thaat person to be convinced that the lives of loved ones are continuing as normal

Yes, too, for each caretaker: you can also continue as though everything is normal. Go to the concert or the ball game, if that's is one's desire. For such is precisely what the dying individual wants. He or she simply does not want anyone to think that the world, and everyone in it should stop what they're doing and falsely glorify him or her, in life or in dying.

Which does not mean that the dying person's accomplishments) should be ignored. As best you can, preferably in simple ways, let him or her think thaor that his or her accomplishmens are genuinely appreciated. For that also is precisely what the dying individual wants. He or she simply does not want anyone to think that the world, and everyone in it should stop what they're doing and falsely glorify him or her, in life or in dying.

Which does not mean that the dying person's accomplishments) should be ignored. As best you can, preferble in simple ways, let him or her think hat his accomplishmens are genuinely appreciated.

Do not, repeat, do not dwell on "who gets what" (I've seen tha happen and know all too well the truly sad conquences). In reality, all that's been decided ahead of the death, in a Will and in all ways that are leggally binding. Should that not be the case, however, asssit, if you may, in getting a Will signed and and all other related matters taken care of.

Inquire of him or her, the dgying person, concering his or her wishes for a memoral service. Most experiencing death want their life's best dpomgs to be acknowledged in some way--a service, at the graveside, in the person's church or, as fitting, in the chapel of the funeral him providing the arrangements? If asked, the dying person will usually respond; if that does not happen, and it is your desire for some kind of memorial service, arrange for one, either through a pastor or through a funeral home director.

Of course, the most important thing a person can do for the dying person is to to love that perso with all the love they have, whih meawns forgetting all the past differences he and the dying one may have had while recalling every good experience they had together.

Love always--in life, when dying, in death itself.

Amen.